An essential truth for life.

The maxim and motto I’ve adopted to make sure I’m where I want to be.

It’s easy to get overwhelmed while trying to progress on the narrow way.

Sometimes we find that narrow way in our faith, sometimes it’s in parenting or marriage, sometimes it’s found in the day-to-day.

We get to the point of wanting to be better, do better, do the right thing, love well, practice virtue, pray whenever we can, frequent the Sacraments, be a good spouse, get healthier, and on and on. But then we just get so overwhelmed by what it takes to get where we want to go.

Not to mention the fact that, when desiring to persevere on the narrow way, the evil one will make it extra hard, throwing stones or life or whatever else he can to make it too difficult to move forward.

The phrase I tell myself…

But let me tell you one simple truth I learned when I was a widow. I was in the throws of grief, raising kids on my own, figuring out life, trying to grow closer to God, trying not to fall back on vices, and so forth. And it all seemed like too much (and it was too much) and then it hit me:

All I have to do is be a bit better each day.

I need to be “perfect as my Heavenly Father is perfect” but I don’t have to be perfect right now.

I need to be humble, kind, joyful, prayerful, charitable, along with advancing on all the practical things of my state in life, but I don’t have to be all those things fully and perfectly right now.

Do I want to be them right now? You bet. Can I be them all right now? Probably not.

So what is a girl to do?

Instead of falling into presumption (like I don’t need to work on myself) or despair (like none of it matters anyway), we should fall into the fact that grace comes bit by bit. Drops of living water trickling from the well that is God, fed only in small increments so as not to drown. Sure, some of us get torrents of grace all at once, and sometimes transformations happen all at once (take St. Teresa of Avila for example…but even that was after years and years of mundane moving forward). But most of us will feed on our daily bread of the little acts, the little movements that propel us to the state/place/goal we want to be.

That being said, the attitude we should adopt is one of faithful perseverance. Slow and steady wins the race. Bit by bit, a bit better each day.

Let me give you some examples.

Where the rubber meets the road.

I really want to be the best wife I can. Patient, soft, supportive, even-tempered, submissive, forgiving, giving the benefit of the doubt, and all the other qualities that make a good wife. And I want to be them every moment of every day. But I’m human with human nature and that’s hard to do. (Plus God doesn’t usually let us be perfect because then we’d be prideful.) Instead of throwing in the towel, I can adopt the attitude of a bit better each day. That means today I just need to be a little bit better wife than yesterday. Maybe yesterday I was stubborn and unrelenting, then today I can be a bit less stubborn. Maybe yesterday I spoke harshly, then today I can speak a bit more sweet.

Or how about with the kids. Maybe yesterday I was impatient or nagging, then today I can be a bit less impatient.

And then with faith. Maybe yesterday I was prideful and vain in how I acted, then today I can be a bit more humble.

And on and on. And then what happens is, over time, that bit by bit becomes leap by leap. And we find ourselves slowly changed, transformed into that person we want to be.

With this attitude we don’t run the risk of giving up because it takes the pressure off to have it all figured out right now. I’m an all or nothing girl, myself, but when I started really adopting this phrase into my life I saw real changes. I did start to become a bit better each day. Sometimes backslides would happen with a certain virtue or habit, but then it’s right back on the horse, a bit better the next day.

See how it works?? Isn’t it pretty neat?

Scapular story coming Friday, BTW! It’s a crazy one….

A challenge for you.

This is what I want to encourage you with today. I want you to take stock of your life, your current state in life, and ask yourself, “how can I be a bit better today than yesterday. How can I be a bit better tomorrow than today?” And then pick something small and go from there. If you fail, pick yourself up and move on. (If Confession is warranted, make sure you get there sooner than later as to not impede your progress or live without grace…which makes everything in vain.) The point is, don’t get stuck on the outcome, just do what you need to do today.

I used to be an ulta-runner, running 50 miles in the mountains for fun. (It was fun, might I add.) But you don’t get to run 50 miles without running one mile at a time. You put one foot in front of the other. You try to be a bit better each mile than the one before. And before you know it, you’re crossing the finish line, medal in hand.

The same goes for the narrow way. We don’t get to be fully perfected until the finish line, until heaven (should we not give up and choose the other path). But we still need to keep moving forward to that goal by striving for holiness, fulfilling our state in life, and seeking union with God.

And before you know it, you will be moving forward…bit by bit, a bit better each day.

Love, Kristine