Happy New Year!

After all I've been through in life, here's the only resolution I'm making this year and all the years to come.

Wow. Another new year!

Another chance to look back and reflect. Another chance to look forward and wonder.

I guess I do a lot of that anyway - the looking back and looking forward. But the changing of the year and the marking of the passing of time always brings with it even more thoughts.

And those thoughts all end up centered around one thing - whether I want it to or not. A singular theme that has emerged to be the central concept of life - my life and, whether you realize it or not, probably yours too.

Stay with me and I’ll share what it is…

Life is a tapestry, woven by God.

A lot of you are familiar with our story. (If you’re not, click here, then here, then here and finally here.) I’m only 41 and yet have been to hell and back multiple times. Well, hell and back and also heaven and back. I’m sure you’ve traveled there, too.

Death. New life. Over and over again.

Life isn’t easy, my friend, and we all have the battle scars to prove it.

Life is also beautiful my friend, and we all have the fruits to prove it.

I’ve talked about life before like it’s a tapestry - a picture woven together thread by thread. It’s colors and forms taking shape throughout our numbered days, it’s final product rarely visible to the observer while it’s being created. I’ve often felt this way through all the twists and turns - that every experience is just another part of the greater image - that image God is trying to weave together to be the picture that is this life.

(I just wish those needles weren’t so pokey sometimes…)

And like with any piece of art, there is a theme.

And as I hold what I see looking back and as I know what I see moving forward, the theme of my life (and, spoiler alert, yours too) is one thing:

LOVE.

Finally seeing what the tapestry picture is…

Over the past couple of years, as I’ve worked my tail off to be a new wife again and a good mother to now 7 kids and combine families and ways of life, I failed at a lot of things.

I failed at certain personal disciplines and habits. I failed at commitments and resolutions I made with God. (I mean, I can’t finish a novena for the life of me anymore…) I failed at practical things I said I would do and with plans I had made.

But through all the failure, God started whispering something in my ear. His words were a thread that became another thread, an image of my life that I began to see.

Yes, I had failed at novenas and resolutions and disciplines that I had formerly been so good at. But there was one area I was growing in.

And that area was love.

The image of my life He started showing me was one of love. All of my moments, past, present, and future were built around this one thing. Everything I was longing for, sad about, worried about, wanting and wanting to be had to do with love in some way, shape, or form.

And God was whispering that, in the school of charity, I was a student moving up the ranks. (I definitely don’t have an “A” yet - more like a C-average.) I could look back and see I was kinder, softer, and more charitable - to my kids, to my husband, to others, to myself. I was learning to unwind the shield I had built around my heart - the one that was forged in the wake of life’s battles. The one I had used to make excuses for self-centeredness, even if that self-focus wasn’t apparent to the naked eye.

And the more I was able to love, the happier I became, and the happier those around me became. And the times I found myself stuck in an inability to love, the more I noticed that life became bleaker, harder, more miserable.

Love, yes. This is what I wanted. I wanted to receive it, oh yes I did. But I wanted to give it even more, because in the times I could love most perfectly, the happiness and peace flowed.

Love is what life is about. Love is why life is hard and why there is pain. Love is the only thing I should ever be focused on.

In fact, it was the only thing I was focused on and didn’t even know it.

In reflecting upon what’s behind me…

As I look back into my past, in all the memories of the things that have happened, I see two different sides of the coin that is love.

On one side is immense joy and happiness. And those things that gave me joy and happiness came from love. The love of my parents, the love of and with my young children, the love between Mike and I that we were blessed to share for 14 years. The love that came from sacrifice and charity and good things happening, the love that came from God, Himself.

On the other side of those memories is pain and heartbreak. And those things that gave me pain and heartbreak all came from a lack of love. They came from frailties of human nature that spilled over and harmed me. They came from my own stupid choices that fell short of love. They came from uncontrollable happenings of life that made love all but impossible. They came from times of rejecting the love that God was so willing and wanting to give.

And I’m so happy because I’ve been blessed to know love and feel love. I’m also sad because of love that was missing. And the only regret I have is that I could not, or did not, love more.

What past and present love meaning moving forward.

Now that I see my past and present though that which is love, I can only see my future through this same lens.

As I look into 2025, and all that I want to do and be, I foresee that everything is nothing if I don’t have love as my aim.

Because love is what I will look back upon in the years after it - the love I could give, which will make me happy, and the love I fail to give, which will make me sad.

And I want to be happy.

But even more than that God is now saying that I can’t simply love people for themselves, alone. He says that perfection, that the absolute highest of sanctity, consists in being able to love others because we love God. Meaning that I can’t just love Alex and my kids because they are my spouse and children - I have to love them because I love God. And I’m loving them for God. And this love will have to transcend what they can return to me, because sometimes (a lot of times) I’ll have to love when no one loves me back.

And, here’s the kicker: if I can love others for the love of God, then I will become holy. And if I can learn perfect love in and through my state in life, despite all the twists and turns of the narrow way, then I will have reached the heights of perfection God desirers me to achieve.

I now fully realize that God wants every discipline, habit, prayer, Mass, and choice to have love at its end. I see that the only thing I should be focusing on to be or do is love more and more. Every day, better than the day before.

And my one resolution for 2025 (and all the years to come) is this: to love people perfectly because I love of God.

What does this resolution mean??

Let’s break this resolution down for a second.

First off, it implies that there are people in my life to love. Yes, in fact, there are. Lots of them. My husband, kids, extended family, doctors, friends, the Starbucks barista, the store clerk, even those who hate me. Lots of people in my life that I must love in some way or other. It is them up to me to discern how they must be loved.

My husband must receive all of me - mind, body, and soul - in union. Union of ideas, bodies, lives, and submission. Love in exhaustion, love in joys, love in whatever the day brings. My kids must receive all the love I can give too - in instruction, guidance, discipline, affection, etc. Perhaps my family and friends need love through support. The store clerk is maybe in my life so I can pray for their salvation. Even my “enemies” have been placed by God so I may love in the form of forgiveness.

Next, this resolution implies that love can (and has to be) perfect. “Be you therefore perfect, as also your heavenly Father is perfect.” Matthew 5:48 (In fact this whole chapter is a lesson in love.) I could make excuses that I will never be (or in this case, love) perfect, and in fact it is true. I will never be able to love perfectly. However, this doesn’t stop me from having to be obedient to this command. I am charged with the mission to be perfect as God is perfect and, since God IS Love (1 John 4:8), I must also be love. A bit better tomorrow than I am today. Perfectly.

Lastly, this resolution implies that I love God. I guess this could be debatable in looking at how I live my life. To be honest, I don’t know if I love God - at least how I should. Sure, I say I love Him, and my life is centered around His Will as best as I can, but the reflecting I must do this year to see if, in fact, I do love God will take some time. Because I also do and say a lot of things that would indicate I don’t love Him. And if I want to love people because I love God, then I have to know whether I love Him or not.

Looking at what this means in the day-to-day.

OK, now that' I’ve reflected upon my life both past, present, and future and see that God is writing a messy story of love, now that I’ve made a resolution to take this theme of love and make it the mission of my days, I have to ask myself, “What does this look like on a daily basis? How can I actually love people for the love of God??”

First, I have to start with the end. For the end always dictates the means. If my end is to love others for the love of God, then I must work on loving God more and more. I can do this through daily examination and reflection of my thoughts, feelings, and actions towards God. I can ask God to help me love Him more and reveal the obstacles standing in the way. Then I’ll need to address those obstacles one by one until I do, in fact, love God as He should be loved.

Next (or perhaps even during that process), I will need to work on actually loving people more. There’s no fancy way to go about it - no book to read or manual to follow (except for the lives of the Saints; that’s a good manual). Perhaps yesterday I got snippy with my husband because I was tired. Well, maybe today I can put aside how I’m feeling and speak one kinder word. That’s loving more.

Or maybe I let my kids get away with something that God is now convicting me about, maybe I was lax in my parenting and loving them would mean correcting, instructing, and holding accountable. That’s loving more.

What if today I just pass by everyone I meet with annoyance because I have to get somewhere, but tomorrow I make a mental note to offer everyone I come into contact with to Jesus, for the salvation of their souls?

See how easy it is? Well, maybe not easy. But it is simple.

I can take it all one step further. Actually, we should.

Because what if, in examining my day, I see that I keep failing to love as well as I should because I’m exhausted. Well, then I’d have to address my sleep. Or what if that extra glass of wine is making me edgy? Well, then I’d have to cut it out. Or what if the physical clutter of my home is overwhelming me and then I find myself spending extra time putting things away instead of hugging my kids? Well, then I’d have to get rid of things so I could love better.

What if I’m skipping my morning prayer time and, as I result, I don’t get the graces I need so I actually can love? How about I’m putting off confession but if I did go then I’d be free of the sins weighing me down, keeping me from love? Or perhaps I am holding on to how people hurt me, and I can’t forgive? Or what if I need a break to recharge from the daily grind, but I keep pushing through, burning the candle at both ends?

See how this works? Love doesn’t just happen. We have to make it happen. We have to not only choose to love every day, better than the day before, but we also have to either remove the obstacles to love or add in things to help us love better.

And this is why loving people perfectly because I love God, is (in my humble opinion) the best resolution I can make. It addresses all aspects of life with one singular aim at its end.

Cheers to 2025!

Alex just read this letter and loved it (no pun intended lol). But he did say it’d be pretty hard to live. He’s right, it is hard. And my response was that it’s going to take a lifetime to live this out and God’s response was “well, that’s the point.”

As we enter 2025, I know there will be lots more surprises in store in our daily lives and in the world. But if we can love through it all, if we can love God and love other people because we love Him, then we will transform our homes and society. We will bring Christ’s Kingdom to this earth as an imperfect foreshadowing of the perfect Love to come.

As we enter 2025, let’s leave behind all the excuses. Trust me, I have a lot of them myself. I could use Mike’s death and the wake of that loss to justify just about anything I feel and therefore want to do. But justifications don’t bring happiness, and they sure don’t bring holiness.

Now is the time to rise in love. To love a bit better today than we did yesterday, and more tomorrow than we do today. One step closer on the narrow way, all for the love of God.

Happy New Year!

Love, Kristine